For the past 5 years, we’ve lead separate lives on social media. By separate, I mean if my friends see something that they think I need to know about they will tell me. It eventually got to the point that I asked them not to tell me anything because it’s just embarrassing. We live in the same house, we have children, we love each other, we share our bodies with each other, but we can’t share the alleged least intimate parts of our social lives? It really reminds me of that friend who’s boyfriend is cheating but as long as she doesn’t ask him, it’s not a real thing. Now, this is certainly not to suggest that my Bae is cheating. The point is…its bothered me for years now because the only thing I’ve ever wanted is everything lol. Take all or nothing kind of deal.
Before I go on, I’d like to share my philosophy.
“If you can’t survive social media in a socially driven society, do you really belong together?”
This is something that I will bring up every now and again. Most recently, it was revisited in our couples therapy session. He told our therapist that we are not soc friends because I snapped on one of his cousins that commented on his post…. 5 years ago…
- I have absolutely no recollection of this happening
- Did you catch that this was 5 years ago?
I hate the fact that I have to go out of my way to tag him in things.
I hate the fact that both of us spend so much time on social media each day but that part of our lives is separate.
I hate the fact that I feel like a secret and girls might have to dig a little deeper to find out if he’s in a relationship.
I hate that I can’t see what he posting b/c a person’s posts say a lot about them and what is on their mind.
I hate the fact that we are supposed to be best friends but can’t follow each other on social media!
All things considered, I often ask myself why it bothers me so much. I try to remind myself that he loves me and we are very happy together but something inside just won’t let me settle for that because I don’t think it’s anything wrong with it. He’d be quick to say don’t compare us to other people but I’m a numbers person when it comes to relationship statistics.
In a 2014 Pew Research Center survey, 45 percent of millennial respondents said their social media accounts had had a “major impact” on their relationships.
Most of us are uncomfortable talking about these types of interactions because we worry that social media is too frivolous to argue over, but it is important to recognize that social media brings up real feelings, and those feelings do matter.
MY FEELINGS DO MATTER and not just because I’ve read tons of articles that say so. We can’t even go to dinner or anywhere else for that matter without picking up our phones. How do we justify isolating each other from an important part of our lives?
I probably could have put much more thought into this post and voiced my opinion more eloquently but…I had 20 minutes to write it and now Kennedi is bugging me to go to the potty.
I’m asking myself…do I continue to tell myself that this is not important, or do I stand up for it???????????
Update: on 4/10, I addressed this issue to him. He avoided the topic 3 times. I’m very irritated by the situation and by him. That is where we are right now…